The Pain Must Go On

I should fight
I should hide
I should try
But in the end the pain must go on

There’s no refuge now
Denying won’t save me
Admitting will break me
There’s no way out

One more day
Or one day less
Both perspectives
Share a death

The fragile powerless
The absence of will
Not to care
Never dare

All the reasons lost in a paper
All the emptiness turned into words
All the memories are just a feeling
Not forgiven nor forgotten

Far away of the tragedy
Far away of the dream
No meaning

Not a game just a lie
To blurry the bound
To mess with time

To whom it may concern
I’ve never opened my eyes
Just took the road without a goodbye
The pain must go on
It’s a part of my life

Incomplete Happiness

If I never had left my cage
If I only knew I never wanted the whole world
Nothing would have changed
The emptiness would still be here

I fought for freedom and it brought me this happiness
So cold, worthless and broken
I would rather keep my chains just to feel complete again

I have walked through all the paths
From a saint to a sinner and back to a saint
I miss myself though now I’m the purest form of me
Happy but incomplete

What is it all for?
I never had the chance
There’s no coincidences, no destiny
No time for me

I was cursed by my own hands
To just watch my life pass me by
I am useless to fix the things
And even more useless to create new ones

Legacy

These chains are full of honor
What was lost and now is forever gone
It’s not a matter of time anymore
But a reason to love my pain
When all the boundaries were already crossed
All you have left is a way back home
A way back to the roots of what you‘ve been trying to deny
What lies inside of you can’t be the strength that guides you
Only emptiness can show you freedom
The line between pain and happiness is too thin
It doesn’t matter where you are going
You just need another day and four words
And then you will make it all end
You don’t need to play your own game
What you believe is nothing but a lie
We all fail at the end, so why can’t we anticipate it?
Death is the most beautiful thing in life
The eminent tragedy that evaporates in a second
The  most unpredictable breath
The primal instinct, we are born to the in between
But you will die before the physical moment of it
All the things that keep you bounded to your pain
Is the way you find to say “Hey, I’m alive”
You can only fight through the pain
It’s your sword and your shield
Life is about the walls you’ve built
And how you become a prisoner of yourself
Nobody gets in,  you can’t get out
Then you understand you never had any chance
It’s not about destiny, It’s about not being able to
All the places were wrong
And you can’t regret anything
You see the light though you don’t know what to do with it
There’s no forever, You will not have another time
You are not brave enough to end it
Nor to go back home
You just sit and wait
And that’s the only thing you know how to do well
Waiting is a way to transfer your guilty
You believe something will change someday
If it remains untouched
But you can’t prevent it from being stolen

Unfinished Memories Of A Schizophrenic Mind

Tá, tá... eu sei que nem uso isso aqui mais, eu sei que ninguém usa blog mais, e eu também sei que ninguém vai ler isso aqui. Mas, se por algum acaso alguém estiver lendo, o negócio é o seguinte: fazendo uma limpa no computador, que não está lá muito bom, encontrei diversos trechos de coisas que foram escritas nos últimos sei lá quantos anos, a grande maior parte não terminada. Como lotei os pen drives com séries, filmes e músicas, não tinha onde salvar todos eles, e como escrever se tornou algo raro, precisava arrumar lugar pra essas "relíquias". Foi então que lembrei do blog e resolvi colocar todos eles aqui, pelo menos provisóriamente. Juntei todos (ou quase todos) numa coisa só e fim.


Unfinished Memories Of A Schizophrenic Mind

1- Loving Ghosts

I know it will never happen

Not in this life

I pray for the next to come

So there will be another line

It seems it will take a long time

To share your pain with mine

How could I anticipate

This fate of love and pride?

Can I just follow the road

And keep the secret untold?

Is it fair to keep living

When I should be the one bleeding?

I hope I will go to the same place

I still remember the last time I saw your face

And it haunts me every night, even when I stay awake

But I know I didn't make a mistake

And everyday is one day less

But I can't reach the darkness

I should feel guilty for that

But there's emptiness instead

Life is suicide in slow motion

2- Roses & Bones

Consumed love dies young

Forbiden love lasts forever

3-Playing Cards With My Corpse

For such a long time I tried to destroy myself

But it was your name I called when I faced the death

Then I knew there was a part of me I should burry

But I failed and now I'm here playing cards with my corpse

An eternal battle against what should not be here anymore

In this deck of cards
There are no king or queen
A wasted land
Is my heart inside

4-Data Traveler

Subliminar tendencies

In a long road

I hear the silence

The guilty goes away

I seek in the dust

I sleep in the fire

I should have been hurt

Too much dark, too much light

Both can blind

Illusions come in a bottle

So let me drink it all

Let me be immune

There's no ground

There's no sky

Instead of silence dreams

I hold the last breath

I need to free

What should never have been

Released

5- On A Cold Winter's Night 
I wanna die on a cold winter's night
With silent tears in my eyes
And nothing to leave behind
I wanna die on a cold winter's night

Maybe the snow wouldn't be colder than me
So this dream would be more than a fantasy
I wanna die on a cold winter's night
The pain would never see another sunshine

Alone I came, alone I will go 
6- Never-ending Story
 
This is my never-ending story...

A long time ago
Misplaced feelings
Underated scenes
In the right place
Mystical pain
Released from the cage
It's insane that I survived
But I can't scape
It still lies inside of me
Didn't you get hurt?
I stayed awake
The nightmares came
The rules of the game
That I've never planned
Can you look me in the eyes?
For all the things I had sacrificed
Another day, another lie
All the voices inside my mind
You are not the one to blame
But I don't feel the guilty
Why is it so hard to explain?
This is not how it was supposed to be
I keep it alive on my memories
The fake stars of my tragedie
I said I would never have a heart
Time has passed
Many things can last
But once they are gone, they are forever gone
That's why I keep living the same day
With broken dreams, blurry scenes
I thought it was everything
That once I would have
It's what happens when destiny crashes
And all the pain, I still have to deal with it
It's not the same but it grows slowly inside
But still faster than it should
It lingers in the halfway of coming and going
It will never fade away
I'm sorry, you are my never-ending story 
7-Mirror of the existence

Searching for the answer
On the mirror of existence
I swear one day I'll belong
To the place you once called home

Living for a tear
To wash away my sins
Reaching the light inside the pain

Nothing will betray
The fear of my mistakes
Leaving behind what I've become

Far away, hidden in the distance
A space in time, the dust on fire
A heart that once was mine

Feelings not so deep
Denied for many years
A chance to recognize them
I'm weaker than my pride

On the mirror of the existence
A blurry image I see
The dead part of me

Puzzle

A puzzle without pieces
Just a question on my mind
A pain already bought
In the second I failed to close my eyes

I can't hear, I can't see
I can't breathe, I can't sleep

'Cause everything is a puzzle
To my sick crazy mind
Nothing can be simple
I have to find something behind

I tried to build something
With the fragments of my life
With words never spoken
And memories I keep awake

I failed once again
Believing in things that only will bring me pain

'Cause everything is a puzzle
To my sick crazy mind
Nothing can be simple
I have to find something behind

One piece fixed wrong
And everything makes sense
Until the day I gave up
And then I knew it was a mistake

But I keep searching for puzzles
Another question, another life
But the pain is the same
I can't leave it behind

Every illusion brings a puzzle together
Pieces of a second of insanity
Every feeling is a treasure filled with tragedie

Without Meaning

Far from everything lies a sin
Untouchable but I can see
Here I only find a pain deep within
It's how should be

Through the days they said me to stay here
Being fed slowly by my fears
My name should be whispered for another century
My words will be writen as a prophecy
Beyond the limit of the truth that lives inside everyone
They made me bleed to spread a fake lesson

Why is everything so empty?
They can't stand the guilty
So I'm here to be blamed in vain
I must be stronger to be free again

Far from us all they hide a secret
Where the sky turns to scarlet
I used to rest my head there every day
Before the innocence went away

They made us know the temptation
And then we poisoned our own creation
If you believe in destiny you follow me
And succumb to everything thet they want you to see

With them my words don't have a meaning
You can't feel my pain but you can see me bleeding

Days Of Agony

Do you think you can write my reality?

I left it all behind to fill myself with their pain
But I let a stranger dry my tears
I feel safe but the agony still remains
But the price will pay all this wasted years

Do you think you can remind me just once again?
All of my memories that you cannot put on a grave
I had to sacrifice the dreams but I hope it wasn't in vain
An artificially way of life but I couldn't be another slave

Who is the real victim of the fate?
A stranger have crossed my way
They are already gone but it's never is too late
I still need to open my eyes everyday

A pain will come to burn my innocence
No regrets and no one to blame
Just face the beginning of decadence
A life full of sins but no shame

In my days of agony
I dream about a fantasy
A stranger who whispers to me:
“You are not what you're supposed to be”

But I'm free..